Is stalking feminist praxis these days?

Content note: this post discusses stalking, harassment and transmisogyny

Last night, I went to the pub with my friends Roz and Sarah. Roz and Sarah are trans women, so piss TERfs off by just existing and being really awesome with it. Meanwhile, you all know about me–to TERfs, I’m the traitor for sororitising with the enemy.

We were followed to the pub. Our whereabouts was spread about TERf circles by text message, and they were rumbled when one of their lot tweeted, bragging about this information exchange. It was fortunate that our whereabouts were only made public after we’d already left and started our journey home, because otherwise, this could have become very dangerous indeed. As a woman, a vocal, outspoken woman, I have pissed a lot of men off in my time, too. These men literally want me dead. I know this, they’ve said it often enough. I don’t really want these men knowing where I am when I’m in a small group and vulnerable, because there is a genuine sense of danger here. I don’t doubt the same is true for my friends.

I also don’t doubt the TERfs know that this is true. We know for a fact that these people want trans women dead. They doxx and stalk and harass, trying to be the ones who give the order rather than the ones who pull the trigger. They try to block access to vital medical care, knowing this might kill people.

Now, I know that I’m not necessarily a safe person for trans women to be around. I have a high profile and a shitload of enemies. I sometimes worry that by talking to me, these women could be put in danger, draw unnecessary and unwanted attention. I thought I was being careful enough, but maybe I wasn’t. Me and my friends discussed meeting up that day via Twitter, and this is probably how our stalkers ended up tracking us down and tweeting out our location. I noticed that one of the stalkers followed me on Twitter–I can’t tell who’s following me there, and who isn’t. I cannot believe that this is something I even need to think about, but this is the climate in which we work, and I don’t blame any marginalised woman for staying the fuck away from me because of something like this.

But ultimately, the fault here isn’t mine. There’s things I can do to tighten security, and I’ll do those things. The real problem here is TERfs. This is not feminism, it’s being a fucking creep. These people are a danger. This is why I have a hair trigger on my block button for them and anyone who pals around with them: it’s proved it to me. You never know when one could be passing on information.

I write this post as a reminder: a reminder that this isn’t some sort of intellectual parlour game. The safety of women is at stake here. I’m fine and I’m alive, but what I want to come from this is an increased level of awareness. I want this post to be read. I want people to know that the TERfs literally stalk women. And I know that me being cis means more people are likely to care.

Isn’t that just the most fucked-up thing?

Edit, about 2 hours after posting: It looks like TERfs are trying to distance themselves from this because they realised how bad it looks. They have decided to throw the woman who tweeted our details under the bus and claim she is a man. However, they are continuing to laugh at the idea, and crack jokes with the woman. Unsurprisingly, they’re also continuing to harass me online. TERfs are perpetrating. TERfs are complicit. TERfs are loving this. TERfs are responsible. And, to boot, they’re failing on basic principles of #ibelieveher. I don’t have the energy to document it. If anyone wants to, they’re welcome to, but I don’t expect this. I know my readers tend to believe survivors.

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16 responses to “Is stalking feminist praxis these days?

  • Cassidy Frazee

    I’ve yet to encounter these creeps, but screw them for this crap. That’s no better than being a MRA. TERfs aren’t feminist; they’re just another collection of asses who want to keep a particular group terrorized.

  • Al Storer (@Al__S)

    “dealing with actual oppression of women and equality issues is too hard. Lets do something easy like terrorise a tiny group”

  • Miche

    I really don’t think they have any idea how crazy they are, or how crazy they come across online.

    I also really don’t think they have any idea that they can — and will — be arrested for stalking behaviour just like anybody else, no matter how self-righteous they are.

    • stavvers

      I think they know that I’m an anarchist and therefore wouldn’t call the pigs on them.

      (as an aside, try not to say “crazy”. It’s a slur used quite a lot against people like me who have issues with mental health. These people aren’t “crazy”. They’re fucking horrible)

  • umlolidunno

    I’m sorry your location was exposed on public social media, it must have been a frightening experience and it’s really horrible.

    The people you’re calling “TERfs” are in fact men, at least one of whom has consistently and openly declared that he doesn’t agree with radical feminism. By failing to acknowledge this fact, you are covering up male pattern abuse in order to whip up animosity toward a group of women you politically disagree with. Short-sighted and misguided, at the very least.

    • stavvers

      I am allowing this comment through because I find it risible. There are screencaps. They are woman, who agree with radical feminism.

      Own your shit.

      BRB. Crying laughing.

      I checked the other accounts out too. Guess what? They’re not. And the one who was banned from abuse is already back.

      BRB. Crying with more laughter.

      It’s your mates. Own it.

  • William J. Grabowskiw

    Greetings: I’ve been reading your articles over the past few months, and haven’t found a single aspect to disagree with. I’m male, but fed up with the shit I see around me, and ashamed of it. I don’t blame you for having the smarts and bravery to write about such matters. I’m not thick enough to claim, “We’re not all so bad,” because I know we are. Even so-called “literary” types like me. We are. Women don’t start wars. They suffer them–because of men. A simple fact. I’m pretty sure I “get” why you feel–and think–the way you do. Who could blame you? I sure don’t. I can only hope you take what I say here as genuine. Men are fucked-up–I know it. I’m doing my best not to sustain that view. It’s not easy. And I don’t give a rat’s ass if that angers any man reading this. They could do much worse than reading your words. Thank you.

  • safer midwifery utah

    I am curious, how do you know what other people were sending to each other via text message?

    • stavvers

      Because of the tweet bragging about it, which is linked in the storify. She tweeted, bragging that she had been receiving texts from a friend.

  • safer midwifery utah

    I looked at the tweets. Men are not radical feminists, and a man tweeted the location to a radical feminist. The rest is you claiming to be stalked. That is hardly proof of radical feminists texting each other personal info and then deciding to stalk you.

    I have been looking for actual proof of terfs being violent, doxxing trans women, etc and have come up short. This was disappointing.

    • hunternotthehunted

      If you have truly looked for proof of TERFs doxxing trans women & not found it, you are either a terrible researcher or turning your head away to avoid reality. There’s a ton of evidence if you can be bothered. I suspect you want to pretend there isn’t.

  • ravenwing72

    Reblogged this on In my own little world and commented:
    A sickening case of harassment.

  • ravenwing72

    The whole thing was fucking horrible and these sad, sorry arse wipes disgust decent human beings. Glad you guys are OK.

    • Karen

      Ravenwing, I down voted this by accident; I meant to do the exact opposite. Sorry :-/ Suffice to say, I agree; these TERfs (indeed, TERfs in general) are individuals, and I find it a horrifying indictment on (their) ‘feminism’ that they would even remotely find this acceptable.

      Stavvers, Roz and Sarah – I’m so sorry this happened (or indeed, as I mistyped, ‘happens‘). It’s inexcusable. I’m glad you are all OK and are calling these fuckstains out for the hideous excuses for existence that they are.

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