Advance knowledge is power: A trip to the dentist

This is the first post in a short series on engagement and trigger warnings/content notes.
Part 2: The banality of trigger warnings
Part 3: Exposing the true nature of exposure therapy
Part 4: A strange hill to die on

Content note: this post talks about dentists and dental procedures in detail, as well as PTSD and rape.

“It’s going to have to come out,” the dentist said, and my brain squawked fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

One of my wisdom teeth had done what wisdom teeth tend to do, and grown in at a decidedly funny angle, meaning that whenever I chewed, talked or smiled, it would scrape against the inside of my mouth, causing regular mouth ulcers. I’d sucked it up and dealt with the pain, because, to be quite blunt, I was quite terrified of having to have the thing taken out. I’d heard horror stories about wisdom tooth extractions, and had hoped against hope that maybe my own gob would behave itself.

The dentist couldn’t just yank it there and then, because he didn’t have his instruments of torture to hand, so I had a week to prepare myself.

I read everything I could on wisdom tooth extraction in that week. I learned about exactly what the procedure would entail, what each step would feel like. I swotted up on aftercare, and what I might end up doing wrong and how to do it right. I looked at pictures of all the tools that would be used and where exactly they would be rammed into my poor fucked-up mouth, because I knew there was no way I’d be able to ask the questions I had during the procedure itself.

When the day came, I was prepared, and I went through with something I’d thought I might not be able to. I wasn’t even particularly scared. It all went exactly to the script. Afterwards, it healed perfectly, because I knew what I needed to do–and more importantly, why.

It’s not an experience I’d care to repeat, and I hope anything else that decides to grow in my mouth has the decency to point in the right direction. But it wasn’t traumatic.

*

When I was old enough to have my adult teeth, but still young enough to think strange things, I had my first scale and polish at the dentist. I’d had no idea he was going to do that to me, and I assumed it was some sort of punishment for me not flossing diligently enough.

The scale and polish was a huge factor in me going to the dentist as infrequently as possible, just about often enough to maintain my NHS patient status.

A few years ago, my old dentist–the uncommunicative grump who pulled my wonky wisdom tooth–retired and I got a new one. He was about my age, so must have been quite recently-qualified, with his patient sensitivity training still fresh in his mind. Every single thing he did throughout the dental checkup, he told me in advance what he was going to do, and how it might feel. He told me that if I wanted him to stop, I should raise my hand.

Just the knowledge that I could ask him to stop if it hurt, and knowing what he was going to do and when, was enough. I’m a little less dentist-avoidant now. It’s not exactly something I relish, but it’s not traumatic.

*

I’ve spent 500 words talking about dentists because people find the principles of giving a warning in advance far easier to agree with when one talks about matters of the body–even the body as it interacts with the mind. There’s no objections when you talk about getting a week to prepare yourself before you have a tooth pulled. So why are there objections over giving people who have survived trauma a little bit of a heads-up so they can better ready themselves?

Ultimately, that is all the trigger warning/content note is. It’s a flag which says, be prepared. There’s an asteroid field ahead, captain, engage coping mechanisms!

For me, when I see a trigger warning, sometimes it’s not particularly relevant to me, so I ignore it. Sometimes it is relevant to me, but that doesn’t mean I’ll disengage completely: I’ll make sure I’m in a place to engage. For me, this involves making sure I’m not caffeinated, because a kick of anxiety in combination with caffeine easily translates into a full-blown panic response. If I’ve had a coffee, I might wait an hour before engaging.

That’s the thing with trigger warnings: most survivors don’t simply avoid–they have the advance knowledge to do what they have to do. One survivor might open up a tab with a game they find distracting to play after they’ve read a blog post with a trigger warning. Another survivor might make sure she watches a television show in the strong, comforting arms of her girlfriend after hearing it contains a rape scene. One survivor might start practicing the resilience building affirmations he learned in therapy on a daily basis once again before throwing himself into the rape scene in the set text. Another survivor might steel zerself by taking a beta blocker before ze goes to a class that ze has been warned will be discussing rape.

Each survivor has a unique set of coping mechanisms, but each can only do these things with a bit of advance knowledge. It’s more than a simple choice of engaging or disengaging: it empowers people to choose how they engage.

The debate on trigger warnings has been absent of decent evidence: this is because there’s little to show they’re either helpful or harmful–instead, what we mostly have is anecdotes. Therefore, the question becomes mostly a political one.

Over the next few days, I’ll be looking a little bit more at both the politics and the extant evidence with trigger warnings, particularly looking at the conflation of random exposure with controlled exposure. Tomorrow, we’ll be looking at if it’s really so simple, why does everyone lose their shit?

Part 2: The banality of trigger warnings

__

This series was made possible by my patrons on Patreon, who give me the motivation to keep on writing. If you found this series helpful, please consider becoming a patron.


6 responses to “Advance knowledge is power: A trip to the dentist

  • Nile

    ” if it’s really so simple, why does everyone lose their shit?”

    I have never understood this and I look forward to reading your ideas on it; all I have is the aphorism “If there’s no good reason for it, as far as anyone will tell you, you can be certain there’s a bad reason”.

    ‘Bad’, as in ‘true but so unpleasant that people are unwilling to admit it’.

    Meanwhile, thanks for those examples; I have a couple more, if you ever find that you’re struggling to communicate the concepts:

    “Before we continue this conversation, I must warn you that this matter involves priveleged and market-sensitive information”.

    I have seen grown men lose their shit over that particular content warning, when they can be forced off of seriously profitable trades if they make *exactly* the mistake that they are being warned against by the adult in the room. Or, you know, go to prison for insider trading; the American authorities will do that, and London extradites the suspects on demand.

    The other one is the ‘raised hand’ at your dentist: if you slap the training mat, or ‘tap up’, in Judo, Jiu-Jitsu or Aikido, the exercise is over. No questions, no hesitation, no means No; and anyone who says it’s ‘soft’ to do that never met the men and women that I train with.

    Losing your shit in that environment is a one way trip: we teach control, but we have to exclude people who can’t be taught.

    So yes, I would like to hear other examples of warnings and stops; reasons – good and bad – why they don’t always work; and, maybe, ways of spotting people who won’t respect the need for this, before they do real damage.

    • Miche

      We teach little kids to use their words — if they need for a behaviour to stop, then tell the other person to stop.

      But when an adult uses their words to say “Can you please warn me if there’s a rape scene in the set text,” everybody loses their bloody minds and starts screaming about censorship and bubble wrap.

      But it’s the person who asked to be warned about the rape scene who’s the crazy one.

  • Miche

    “Hi, I require a gluten-free diet. Can you please tell me what my choices are today?”

  • sherrilaurie

    Great article – there is a bit of press going around about trigger warnings, ofen on university campus’, that are foucssed on denying the existence of bad things. Bad things happen, different people think different things are bad and different people react differently to different bad things. Using the trigger warning as opportunity to exercise personal responsibility and self care seems to be a much more productive experience than shutting down discussion.

  • Nienna

    There’s so much *heartless* sneering at trigger warnings doing the rounds politically lately. Never has seemed to me any reason for it except heartlessness and possible ignorance about ptsd and the effects of surviving trauma and having anxiety disorders. So I agree.

  • wanderwolf

    Thank you for sharing this. I’ve never been someone who was insensitive about trigger warnings, because I do feel that people have the right to content notes, especially if the content is disturbing, painful, and/or traumatic (and these can be for any number of reasons for anyone, survivor or not). However, something I had not thought about is my own inclination to think that this meant the audience would disengage. Now, I understand that is it rather a way to allow him/her to prepare for engagement.It allows him/her to take part, rather than making things a constant risk for them.
    That’s powerful.

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