I’m making sourdough with my vaginal yeast

What performs better? Vaginal yeast sourdough, or just the normal stuff? I did a head-t0-head test…

Content warning: This post discusses food and contains embedded tweets containing misogynistic and disablist language.

UPDATE: Want to know how it all turned out? I baked it and ate it. Here’s some more pictures and information.

UPDATE 2: The head-to-head comparison: does the vaginal yeast make a difference?

I am making sourdough. I started the starter on Saturday afternoon, and it’s reached the point where it smells kind of yeasty, and now it’s looking like this:

IMAG0617

It’s caused quite a lot of visceral horror, because I bunged something a little bit unconventional in the starter: yeast from my vagina. Here’s my recipe, so you know:

Ingredients:

1 small Greek coffee-sized cup of plain flour
1/2 small Greek coffee-sized cup of water
As much vaginal yeast as I could scrape off a dildo I put in my vagina–my estimate is that there was about as much of it as would lightly coat a single tine of a fork, and no more.

Method: 

  • Mix the ingredients together.
  • Cover in foil, leave
  • The next day, “feed” it 1 small Greek coffee-sized cup of flour, 1/2 small Greek coffee-sized cup of water.
  • Cover it back up
  • Repeat the feeding
  • idk what I’ll do next, I’m only on the third day.

It all started with a fatal combination of a slightly perverse sense of humour, a keenly scientific mind, and touch of the thrush. Waking up on Saturday with the familiar itchy burny fanny, I giggled to myself “maybe I could make bread with that”. And that ticked into, “well, I’ve always wanted to try making my own sourdough anyway” and then a “fuck, would that even work?” and then I got curious and the next thing that happened was I was scraping white goop off of a dildo into a bowl of flour mixed with water.

Then, obviously, I cracked open the Canesten and cleared up the source because itchy minges are miserable. 

sourdough first day

Day 1

The next day, the Frankenstein within me–by Frankenstein, I mean the guy, not the monster (OK, maybe also the monster)–cheered. IT’S ALIVE!

sourdough 36 hrs

Day 2

It was a few hours after this that people started to really get disgusted. Below is a small sample of comments my little home baking project has received so far. This is important, people: please do not reply to or harass the tweeters: yes, you might want to defend me, but if you want to defend me or help me out, contribute to my Patreon, don’t pile on these people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, it seems to have generated rather a lot of disgust. Far more than I expected, to be perfectly honest: I’d expected perhaps the odd “eww” and maybe even an “I wouldn’t eat that that”, but not this, the level of outright horror, as though I’d dismembered a litter of puppies and was posting selfies with a selfie-stick while doing it.

The more moderate people who want to maintain their sense of outrage at this go for what I call the hygiene excuse: they declare it’s disgusting because it’s unsanitary. And here’s the thing: that’s not necessarily true. It’s almost certainly no more gross than regular sourdough starter.

Making sourdough starter entails encouraging stuff that’s present in the flour and just sort of floating around in the air in your kitchen and on your utensils to grow. That’s what wild yeast is. If that idea sickens you, avoid all sourdough, because that’s what it’s made of, but remember, people have been making and eating sourdough for millennia, and the human race hasn’t died out yet. All I’ve done is add a little bit of my own yeast. It’s somewhere between a Type I and a Type II sourdough, because I’ve added a tiny bit of yeast to the mix, although only a trace amount.

“But candida albicans (vaginal yeast) isn’t for eating and will somehow make you sick,” you cry. Probably not. Like all bread made with yeast, once it’s cooked it’s not exactly going to go about colonising your gut with yeast. The biggest risk with using candida albicans for breadmaking is that it won’t rise–more on that later.

“But what about vaginal bacteria and all the other minging stuff that’s come out of your quim?” you ask, becoming paler and paler as you continue reading this. First things first, any bacteria which lives in your warm soft parts lives there because it likes to be warm. Body temperature warm. It dies outside of that temperature range. However, let’s assume for the sake of argument that my vagina harbours a strain of bacteria that thrives equally in the ~37°C environment of my cunt as it does at the ~22°C of my kitchen, inside a bowl of flour and water. Were this the case, it still wouldn’t matter. I’m making fucking bread. You cook bread. All of the bread will reach the bacteria-murdering threshold of >70°C for long enough to kill anything that had survived.

I did a little straw poll and it found that at least some of the people being disgusted by my cunt sourdough may have a poor understanding of food hygiene. At the time of writing, around 30% of people who answered said that they wash their chicken before cooking: this is a very bad thing to do. Washing raw chicken in water does nothing to remove bacteria from the chicken, and sprays a species of bacteria called campylobacter all over your kitchen where it can thrive and grow. Campylobacter is bad, and responsible for most food poisoning. It, like most other bacteria, can be cooked out, but not scrubbed off. There was a big awareness campaign on this last year, but it seems to have bypassed a worrying chunk of the population. I say this not to pick on chicken-washers, but simply to point out that there’s probably far grosser things going on in the food you’re eating than a trace amount of vaginal yeast. It’s also worth noting that a lot of what you think you know about food hygiene may not necessarily be true. Anyway, people do things differently, and as long as what you’re doing hasn’t killed you or anyone else you’re feeding, why should we judge it?

However, I suspect the vast majority of the utter horror about my sourdough isn’t anything to do with  ignorance on food hygiene, but more to do with a general mistrust and horror at vag. I say this because I suspect if I were making my own any-other-thing-except-sourdough-using-vaginal-yeast, people probably would have just left me to it. Like this person, who made their own salami without fanfare:

This is what said salami looked like. I’ve made it a clickable link because it turned my own stomach a bit, and I’m the sort of person who is baking sourdough with bodily secretions.

Of course, there’s the distinct possibility that absolutely none of my own vaginal bacteria is actually growing within the sourdough. In fact, it’s probable that none of the yeast that is growing originated betwixt my thighs: again, there’s the aforementioned heat issue, and my kitchen is significantly cooler than my cunt. Furthermore, as also mentioned above, sourdough starters pick up wild yeast, so I have no real way of telling whether or not what’s growing is the vaginal yeast, or whether it’s just the stuff that would have grown anyway. In hindsight, it would have been a good idea for me to have prepared a control sourdough starter without vaginal yeast. I did not do this, and I regret it slightly now. So we’ll see what happens when it’s time to bake bread with the starter. I expect if there’s lots of candida albicans in it, it won’t rise so well.

It probably doesn’t matter that my sourdough may or may not contain any actual vaginal yeast. The very idea of it seems to horrify people more than enough. I suppose it’s a similar socially-constructed disgust that leaves a whole bunch of people repulsed by the idea of licking a pussy. Even the mere idea of a tiny trace of pussy in a massive loaf of bread is sufficiently vile.

There have been similar attempts at cooking with bodily secretions, and they’ve been branded art. There’s Toi Sennhauser, who brewed beer containing a tiny trace of vaginal yeast to ask questions about what we deem acceptable. There’s also Christina Agapakis, who has a background in biology as well as art, and is doing interesting things with cheese made from human cultures. I, however, do not consider my own project art. I consider it simply my own personal experimental baking. Again, this is perhaps why I’m so surprised at all the screaming: people weren’t nearly so freaked out when I spent a while eating pasta mixed with ketchup and henderson’s relish because I couldn’t afford much else (it’s quite a good pasta sauce, incidentally).

I’m also not doing it for any feminist protest type reasons, although I am very interested to note how many people are horrified at the very notion that something may have once been near a vagina–since time immemorial the “eww” response has caused a lot of trouble for those of us who have them (and a fair few women who don’t).

I’m also not doing this for any potential health claims, unlike the woman who cultured yoghurt from her own vaginal bacteria. I expect the final result of my endeavour to be maybe bread, with no miraculous healing powers–but also, no miraculous powers to cause sickness.

Any questions that my endeavour has raised were a surprising side product of this little culinary adventure, and I very much doubt that my baking project will finally settle the debate on the Vaginas Are Not Hideous Monster Caves side, because there’s far too much structural bullshit to take it all down that easily.

I’ll be updating periodically on my baking endeavours, including the final result. I will be using the hashtag #cuntsourdough. So, hopefully your curiosity is piqued. I know I’m excited to try whatever happens–in fact, watching the life that has sprung from my loins has finally made me understand why people want to have children (although I still prefer my sourdough starter: it’s lower maintenance than a child).

The next update to be posted on the blog will probably be if/when it’s in a state to actually bake bread with (or maybe I’ll try doing crumpets from my crumpet), although I’ll likely update more often on Twitter (@stavvers). Before you tweet me to tell me how disgusted you are, let me be clear about one thing: I fucking know. It turns out the world is even more grossed out about minges than I’d previously thought.

Click here to find out how the cunt sourdough turned out.

This post was made possible by my Patreon supporters, who are more than welcome to eat some of my cunt sourdough if they like, although they are equally welcome to not eat any. Thanks to my supporters, I’m no longer just eating crap, because I can afford a bit better. If I’ve horrified or intrigued you, or otherwise provoked a reaction, please consider supporting me


132 responses to “I’m making sourdough with my vaginal yeast

  • Black Scientist (@scientist_black)

    You’re trying so hard to be interesting and I think it’s really sweet but also really quite tragic. Did you ever have any prospect of a career or something to be proud of? So sad for you.

    • stavvers

      I’m doing pretty well out of life, ta. Honestly never been happier.

      However, the fact you’re so angry and determined to bring a person down for baking something you won’t eat suggests you might want to have a think about your own life satisfaction.

      I hope you find peace (:

      • Franz De Suaz

        I’m at complete loss that you didn’t expect people to be horrified by your actions. If a man jizzed into a milkshake and and thought it was completely normal to drink it and asked you to drink it I’m fairly certain you would say no…

        Absolutely disgusting.

        • stavvers

          You… you do realise there’s a difference between semen and yeast, right?
          …right?

          Oh god, men are shit at biology.

          • ben nottinghill

            you…you do realize what an analogy is, right?
            …right?

            oh god, women are shit at basic grammar.

            • BBg

              I understand you were hurt that she generalized all men by saying they were bad at biology but you do realize your comment is very pointless, right?…. right??
              Oh God, humans with computers are shit.

            • kody

              Dude! Your analogy still doesn’t make any sense. The definition of an analogy is, “a comparison between two things, typically on the basis of their structure and for the purpose of explanation or clarification.” This person is talking about vaginal yeast and the process of fermentation, which involves bacteria/yeast, in case you didn’t already know. You’re talking about seminal fluids in a milkshake with no real purpose for being there beyond how gross it seems.

              Seems to me like you’re the one who is shit at grammar, in addition to biology.

          • Nina

            You realize there’s a serious difference between backers yeast and fucking vaginal yeast? Ugh, this is horrible.

    • boostick

      Aww, do you need a hug?

  • talkchatter

    The outraged responses you have received for this experiment are somewhat extreme. What you choose to cook or not cook that comes from your own body, is entirely up to you and if people do not like it to the point of feeling the desire to personally insult you , then I strongly suggest that they just scroll on by.

    • stavvers

      Yeah, it’s just fucking weird how emotionally invested a bunch of strangers seem about what I’m baking in my own kitchen. It’s not like I’m going to make them eat it!

      • Wanda

        I’m emotionally invested because I’m now super curious whether it will actually rise!!! Keep us updated.

      • talkchatter

        Maybe they think that you are going to make them eat it🙂

      • axe

        in fairness, a bunch of strangers are commenting on what you’re making in your own kitchen -and then photographing and posting on the internet for random strangers to see and comment on-. it’s not like people are walking off the street into your house to tell you that they don’t like what you’re doing.

        i think people would be just as disgusted if a guy was incorporating yeast from his infected penis into food, or, for that matter, from an infected eye or ear, an infected cut — pretty much any infected body part. the difference is that the person who did that probably wouldn’t chalk up people’s disgust to misandry. they’d just chalk it up to people thinking stuff made from infections is gross.

        • Sarah C.

          This is pretty spot on. Well said.

        • Ali

          The thing is, vaginas don’t have to be “infected”, i.e. with a yeast infection/thrust to have yeast cells in them.

          You clearly don’t understand the biology involved here. A yeast cell is actually not a pathogenic cell like the kind that causes the infection. Candida “yeast” has two forms, the first is a harmless yeast form, where roundish individual cells bud to reproduce. This is a normal part of the healthy microbiome of the vagina. When too many of the surrounding bacteria in the vagina are killed, e.g. with soap or antibiotics, the yeast can go into a different stage called a hyphal stage, where it forms a network of cells in the surface of the skin, causing an infection.

          The candida cells coming from a healthy vagina are the free-living yeasts and not the thrush infection kind you are imagining.

          If you’re so disgusted by this, go an register your horror at the lack of hygiene on pornhub. They don’t even cook the yeast before they eat it on there.

          • blydon

            But…she explicitly states in the post that she DOES have a yeast infection.

            I was intrigued initially, thinking that the starter might be made with the “regular” yeasts that chill in the vag all the time. I got concerned when she mentioned she had thrush, however. That kinda squicked me out.

            In the end, it likely didn’t matter, as the wild airborne yeasts likely overtook the starter.

            • stavvers

              No no, you don’t understand. A yeast “infection” is still the same yeast. It’s literally always there, sometimes there’s just a little too much of it.

  • insearchofmornings

    Interesting. Sourdough is totally awesome and I don’t think I’ll ever go back to yeasted breads. (Bread machines are awesome too. I’m lazy.) I don’t think I could follow your example, partly because I cook and bake for my friends and the only people who get on personal terms with my vagina are myself and my partner, partly because a yeast infection is an illness and that’s not really something i want to bring to my baking, but I freely admit that this is mostly coloured by sexuality and hygiene taboos. (I did use blood from my menstrual cup as house plant food for a short spell years ago, but could never be arsed to keep it up. Baby Bio will do fine.)

    I hope yours goes well, and I can personally recommend feeding it with rye flour, my starter seems to love it. It gets all excitable and sort of bubbly-strandy, looking a bit like something from one of the Alien films.

    If you get into sourdough baking groups online, Facebook or what have you, hah, good luck. They seem to be dominated by men who are obsessed with converting everything to baker’s percentages and frowning upon anyone who doesn’t take five days to bake a loaf of bread. And the size of the holes in the bread, there’s a lot of fuss about that too. Very odd. I’d be dead curious to see the uproar you’d cause by posting about your starter! Possibly it wouldn’t be considered as bad as those of us who put bakers’ yeast into it the first time, which I did because my recipe book suggested it. Still, that was over a year ago, it has only been fed with flour since then. I’m sure I should be forgiven, apart from the heresy of using a bread machine.

    • stavvers

      Thanks so much for the tips! I’ve never even made bread before, let alone sourdough!

      • insearchofmornings

        Haha, I see you have the sourdough police further down the thread! Told you there’d be blokes whose only concern was that you put yeast – any yeast – in and still called it a sourdough. Technically, it’s probably a poolish, but fuck ’em. If you keep feeding it with just flour and water, it’ll be a proper pedigree sourdough eventually.

        How did it turn out? Doesn’t it smell amazing when bread is baking? I had one on this afternoon, with a rye-fed starter, brown flour and cornmeal. I mentioned that I’d made it to my partner, who got really excited because he loves cornbread and apparently my previous attempt at it was fab (he devoured half the loaf on the spot that time), but this one has turned out to have a different character, alas. It’s still yummy and I bet it’ll be nicer toasted tomorrow.

  • Kasey Weird

    I love everything about this project!

  • nicole

    I think this is hilariously awesome! More power to you!!

  • Lena

    I wonder if you’d get the same reactions if you used penile yeast instead of vaginal. I think you would. You do you, all the more power to you for trying this, but I think a lot of people would be squeamish regardless of the gender of the source of yeast.

  • Maddie

    White feminists’ continual fixation on vaginas is not only getting old but also more than a little transphobic.

  • Nina

    This is beyond disgusting. Wash your fucking vagina and look for professional help. Are you really that surprised people think you’re fucking gross?

  • Lilith

    So.. Are you not going to treat your yeast infection? I’m surprised you’re as comfortable as putting a dildo in it because I know for me anytime I get those yeasty things in my vag I get it treated right away, too uncomfortable.

    • stavvers

      Oh I cracked out the Canesten literally immediately after I’d “harvested” some yeast. It’s pretty much cleared up now.

  • Mike

    This is hilarious. Initially a bit gross, but actually really interesting. I hope it turns out well.

  • rosa hughes (@rosatronix)

    this is a hilarious experiment – i hope the bread turns out well!

  • Catstello

    Ha! I love that you did this and I’m finding it hilarious that it is generating such disgust. Keen to hear how it tastes.

  • James

    Candida albicans is a fungus not bacteria 😒

  • Angie PJ

    How is this a feminist thing, though?

  • Brian

    Lol. This was stupid clickbaiting. You put out stuff online that you knew would get a rise out of people, then get astounded that it got a rise out of people. But good job on the experiment. I hope it tastes nice though. Next experiment, breast milk cookies, but I think that sounds a bit too mainstream for your ilk. Maybe poop cookies, or urine shakes.

  • chunkyonchia

    I cannot tell you how much I love this. Please keep it updated. To comments saying it’s an attempt at being interesting; are you kidding me? This is fkn interesting! Haha. Although I’m not 100% sure I would eat any…

  • chunkyonchia

    Ps my partner commends your positive thinking – instead of being bummed about an infection, you chose to make bread haha. He said he’d it if I made it!

  • Kimi Kinsey

    I think perhaps those who are so angry about this just don’t know what other emotion to convey. My immediate reaction was “Ew…why?” but after some thought (and after reading your blog) I realize that I’m not upset I just have a lot of strange and conflicting emotions. I don’t really know which one to choose. haha

    It could very well be that I just don’t know enough about food hygiene or biology. But something about yeast coming from my vagina to make bread grosses me out. But that also may be because my own vagina grosses me out. Like, I know what comes out of there and goes in there. I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of making bread out of any of it.

    But that doesn’t make you wrong, or make your gross. It certainly doesn’t warrant people sending angry hate messages. I say to those people: You don’t need to eat her vagina bread then, okay?

  • eorecchio

    This would make an excellent science fair project for kids!

  • hippyyogifairy

    Why be jerks? It’s so bizarre how triggered people are getting over this! Each to their own.. can’t say I’d do it, but points to the poster for giving it a shot!

    And hey, remember that every nasty comment tells you something more about the poster than it says about you😉

  • sohminmin

    Hi! I am just dropping by to say that I’m really curious as to whether your sourdough bread attempt would work out. I think it’s a really innovative idea and really it shouldn’t deserve all the hate. While so, it would be good if you could check out whether there might be opportunistic bacteria or other pathogenic microbes that could use the lactic acid produced by the yeast present inside your vagina. This could occur via bacteria transfer from feces material that may accidentally be transferred to your vagina and take residence within your vagina. If you had diarrhea or bloody stools, please don’t consume the bread! Either way I would recommend you to not eat the bread if it is successful! Some resilient microbes may still be able to grow outside the body AND survive the oven heating! x

  • Adrienne

    I won’t lie, I am a little grossed out, but hey to each their own!! I kinda wish you had your own breast milk to use to keep with the theme🙂

  • lizzie

    I read this and I didn’t shock me more than people eating their own placenta or drinking their own urine. If its not dangerous who cares and she wanted to proves herself she could bake a bread with her own yeast ! Think its rather funny 😊

  • MagusSenpai

    Just because people think it SOUNDS disgusting just because it comes from someone’s vagina, doesn’t mean people should step over the line and start calling names and pretty much verbally bash her over the head. I mean, as far as science goes, SOMEONE has to be the one to do a thing for the first time. I don’t know if there’s record of anyone doing this before cause I haven’t looked it up, but hey, if it works, then why the fuck not? It’s in the name of science, discovery and fun. Besides, hasn’t anyone ever tasted their own pee, not even just a little bit? It’s not really dangerous because pee is mostly sterile.
    Now haters, please stop ruining the fun! This is science!

  • GirlAstray

    I don´t know why people get so upset about it. (I kindda wish it would disgust me so much that I´d stop eating bread though, since that´s what my doctor suggested to treat my own bacteria…eh.) I think this article was really funny and I had a good laugh, thanks to the interesting experiment and the fun writing style alike. Good luck!

  • Suzanne Bro

    Kinda grossed out. But do whatever you want to tho. Greetings from The Netherlands. (What im trying to say with that is that this is going viral but you probably knew already)

  • chris miller

    Totally fab and funny and a great chance to laugh at lots of up-tight people germophobes misogynists. Surely there must be someone fun around to make some breast milk butter! (Though I fear one would need an awful lot of milk to spare to get enough for butter) Answers below?!

  • Chloe

    I don’t view this project as an act of feminism, but as an act of curiousity. Yeah, it’s gross, and understandably so. If a guy jizzed into a bread mixture and wanted to see if it would bake, that would be gross too. But you know what? I’d follow that guy and his experiment because personally, I’d want to see what happens. And I’ll follow this girl too. If you’re gonna be like “ew disgusting noooooo” then hey, this isn’t your thing so don’t read it. It’s not like she’s forcing you to eat it.

    In all honesty though, I’m pretty saddened by the fact that people are using this experiment as a way to demote feminism. Or maybe I should use the term “gender equality” since the F word seems to offend some people. This article has nothing to do with feminism, it’s about a woman baking vagina yeast bread for godsake.

    To be fair though, I do find it odd that the author was shocked people were so disgusted with her project. And I don’t appreciate her calling out men specifically for being “shit at biology” when they’re simply trying to make a hypothetical point. Nevertheless, I support this project and will continue to follow it.

  • BobSapp (@BobSapp)

    Great Job, let me know how it tastes. Also keep the original culture around. You could have the foundations of a lucrative business there

  • G

    rock on homegirl. whether its feminism or not, rock on.

  • Martin Lysen

    This blog post manages to be simultaneously hilariously funny, scientifically interesting ( at least as regards to culinary chemistry) and informative about hygiene and structural prejudices. Bravo!

  • Gina

    Are you not concerned of possible E Coli contamination? It does not die when away from the body and has been known to contaminate many food stuffs processed or not. Its very hardy.

  • Anna

    Candida is a genus normally found in the human bofy and is easily contained by an uncompromised immune system. However, it is also an opportunistic pathogen that causes oral and vaginal infections when the immune system is overwhelmed.

    On the other hand, baker’s and brewer’s yeast are of a different genus: Saccharomyces. They occur in the human body too but the instances of cases with a saccharomyces infection is drastically less than candida infections; Saccharomyces cerevisiae fungemia is also infectious and cases are associated with the use of Saccharomyces boulardii probiotic. (Source: m.cid.oxfordjournals.org/content/40/11/1625.full)

    My point is, people aren’t disgusted by vagina. The hate for this project stems from the fact that Candida is associated with infections and baker’s yeast (Saccharomyces) something clean and edible despite both being yeasts and intolerant to temperatures higher than 45°C. The thought of putting something ubiquitously known to be infectious into something you’d eat is enough to make people cringe, even if they’re not gonna eat in themselves. It has barely has anything to do with Biology. At all.

    This isn’t female empowerment not does disgust for the project mean hate for women and vaginas. It’s like a click-bait Buzzfeed article that’s waiting for people to react to it and stir up a storm of exchanges between people with different ideas, all the while waiting for the oppotune moment to throw around “victim” or “abuse” or whatever the word of the day is.

    From a scientific point of view, the project is interesting. Medically, it’s unsanitary. Casually, it’s disturbing. But what came of it, a cesspool of gender war argument that beats around the bush: petty, childish, embarrasing.

    • Laurie Swenson

      Well, yes, some people are bothered by the infectious element, but it’s very clear that some people are bothered by the vaginal element and some are misogynistic. I find the project strange but curious, and I am not surprised that some people think it’s interesting and others think it’s gross. Clearly it’s not consuming vaginal discharge right out of the vagina, but it *is* vaginal discharge. This is much different from people being bothered by breast milk because it comes from the breast.

  • Amanda

    it’s awesome you’re doing it, filling everyone else’s curiosity on the matter without having to actually do it; maybe next time try with another controlled bowl to compare? I’m just curious if anyone else will want to try it once its done, or is it just going to be you? (cute or creepy valentine’s gift?lol) greetings and best of luck from china!

  • Jelle

    People who judge you really have to do some self reflection.

    Soo whatever floats your boat. I’m not distgusted by this. I’d eat anything from buffalo worms to mother’s milk ice cream. I’m not a big fan of bread though.
    Slightly wary, as I had a severe case of eczema onmy face last year. that stuff is nasty, and took several weeks of corticosteroid cream and a diet to get rid of

    Toxic masculinity now compels me to make a “make me a sandwich, woman!” joke, Poe’s law be damned. totally scared of all the folks who’d send me death threats for agreeing with you.

    on the side, from your twitter account:
    “Actually no. Most of the grossout seems to be coming from white dudes who like computer games. ”
    As a white dude who likes computer games…no we’re not all like that. Some of us do grow up while still loving computer games as a form of art and entertainment.

  • carmelathecat

    At first, I was concerned not because you used vaginal yeast, but because it was thrush. Had to look up details on the condition.

    Anyway, the yeast is harmless, it’s your body, and it’s your kitchen. Those volatile negative reactions to your experiment are way over-the-top; it’s not like you’re force-feeding anyone the bread you’re making. I applaud you for indulging your curiosity in the name of science, and specifically, food science.

    Let us know how the bread turns out! I’m excited to hear about it.🙂

    (PS. I hope your thrush has cleared up and you’re feeling better).

  • miriafull

    This is one of the coolest cooking projects I have ever heard of! I’m going to try making some sourdough with my vaginal yeast. Did you know that in many cultures (pun intended) women were traditionally bakers and brewers because they knew the correct temperature for yeast. You have changed my life–thank you!

  • smirkpretty

    You’re my hero(ine)! I can’t wait to see how it turns out. I’m a sourdough baker and this simply never occurred to me. What a great experiment!

  • Rob

    I don’t know why, given that I enjoy going down on women, but this just seems wrong. It’s like somebody jizzing in your scrambled eggs. Just don’t do what women health magazine was suggesting and feed to someone without telling them about the secret sauce first.

  • BakerScott

    Hi.

    This is really very interesting, but I thought you might like to know that your bread can’t be a sourdough.

    You’ve added some yeast – and this negates it being a sourdough.

    Also – research ‘rope’. you will see that baking does not kill all spores and disadvantageous outcomes can still occur despite baking.

  • Nimue

    I love your experiment!!!! I wonder why people are so grossed out by it? Is it because it comes from a vagina? There are fungi all over our intestines, they’re simply harder to reach and therefore inapt for baking. But in the end-it’s simply yeast (which has been growing in a vagina in this case) -what’s the big deal?

  • Tiffany

    This is not shocking. People will eat congealed blood pudding but think this is outrageous. As someone with a vagina, I think this is ingenious.

  • Roxy

    While I don’t agree, don’t think it’s safe (no matter what the defenders or your defenses say)–I DON’T think it’s acceptable for people to bring ableism or misogyny into it. There’s a way to disagree passionately without calling you out of your name or just being flat out rude about it. Do I think it’s gross? Yes. Am i tearing my hair out over it? No, lol. I’m blogging about it in an opinion piece, but I’m not calling you anything but…gross. That’s it. I think it’s gross, that’s my opinion–not fact. A part of me thinks it’s interesting, but I don’t consider it to be innovative. People are comparing it to ingesting placenta and drinking urine, and I’m (not) sorry….those are way different. Postpartum can be addressed with consuming the placenta. Dire need to quench thirst can be satisfied with urine. Eating vaginal fungus…not so much. I hope that your supporters give you enough so that you are able to eat well, blog often, and find better ways to cure boredom. A little monistat or a gyno visit might clear that up. Or,a world full of chem-free holistics (which are better and awesome.)

    But having said all that–I do not wish you harm. I do not hate you. I might scrub your hands about fifty times and watch you cook something like a hawk, but we simply disagree about what’s gross and what isn’t.

    I can freely do that, and you can freely defend yourself. And notice, hateful people–the worst word I used was “gross”. Not the B word, not the C word, nothing about her appearance, nothing about her mental state, and nothing about feminism. (although I’m a womanist who can appreciate parts of feminist thought.)

  • sellmaeth

    Some people here seriously fail at biology. And/or cooking.

    To give you some facts: A vagina should not contain more yeast than the average kitchen air. It should mostly contain lactobacili. The ones that turn milk sour. (Not exactly the same ones that are used in commercial yoghurt, but similar ones)

    Sourdough is made up of a combination of yeasts and lactobacili. Therefore, you don’t really use “yeast” to make it. A dough with only yeast is not sourdough. I admit I don’t know the exact percentages, but the word “sour” gives a hint, doesn’t it?
    So, yes, stavvers, you did make sourdough -. if we assume that your vagina is healthy, which I hope it is. But you didn’t make it with vaginal yeast. (I hope)

    Men’s penises don’t have a protective bacterial flora like vaginas do. They are full of nasty bacteria that cause bladder infections. And maybe some yeasts and bacteria that are everywhere on the human skin.
    No part of the male anatomy can be used to make sourdough. Sorry dudes. You’d better wash down there instead of trying to make food with the icky stuff.
    The magic trick only works with vaginas.

    • sellmaeth

      Oh, damn, somehow missed the fact that you DID have a yeast infection. Sorry, disregard that part of my post.
      (And I hope it gets better soon)

    • stavvers

      I am really embarrassed for men and their terrible, terrible understanding of biology. This is probably the top reason we need more women in STEM tbh.

  • Meninist

    How about this. When I go to the store and buy sourdough bread, I know the only thing in it is yeast, it was cultured in a lab, and there is nothing wrong with it. The yeast that comes from your nasty undouched puss is contaminated with whatever other bacteria that came from your cramhole, not to mention vaginal fluid. I noticed you talked about men not having basic biological knowledge because someone compared what you did to a semen milkshake, but the jokes on you. Apparently, you can’t figure out that the yeast from your puss has vaginal fluid and other bacteria on it. Vaginal fluid being the equivalent of semen. You seriously don’t know what’s in your own body? You daft?

    This isn’t a matter of men degrading female sexuality because they are grossed out by vaginal yeast. This is a matter of basic hygene and not being a lunatic. If I lick a puss it’s with a girl I have an intimate relationship with and someone who I’m willing to bond with through an intimate process. I don’t find every puss something worth licking and I sure as hell dont want to think about the yeast the flopped out of you.

    Congratulations, you’ve now proven feminism has accomplished everything it needs to and can be totally done away with now.

  • Ed

    This is the most hilarious and genius thing I’ve seen all week. I can’t wait to see the results. Could you make Beer next?

  • greenfroggyfae

    Genuinely shocked …. But not in disgust. I’ve had these thoughts before but never actually tried it or made it public.
    Looking forward to seeing how it turns out as after all yeast is just yeast.

  • The Hungry Dog's Lair (Martin Conterez)

    I just want to say how epic and awesome this whole thing is.

  • See See

    Do you and forget what people say because next time they need to check there fast food Good Luck and ve Blessed 👍

  • michelleminduploaded

    I absolutely love that you’re doing this experiment, and I’m oddly disappointed that the article is probably getting more rise than your bread. Personally, I’d love to know what it tastes like, and as you say, once it’s cooked there really is nothing to worry about. I’m assuming that you won’t actually notice any difference in taste given the quantity you managed to collect.

    And by the way, I think if people love cunnilingus, they should have no problem with your vaginal yeast in their bread. I wonder if that means all the angry commenters hate giving pleasure to their girlfriends?

  • Mike McDaniels

    Oh Goody. Why don’t you try making sourdough from your boyfriend’s smegma. See if that bread has a different flavor. Keep us all posted, will you?

    • stavvers

      um, darling, your knowledge of biology is kind of embarrassing. I hope that’s not your real name, so nobody you know will see.

  • Becky

    This disgusts me on a whole new level. Why would you want to eat a disease in a bread? What made you think about doing it? Basically what are your motives. Are you an attention hog? I mean this just screams insanity. No, it’s not art. It’s a sickness. And you’ll probably end up getting sick if you eat that crapbread.

  • Leo

    At least if you don’t have bread, you’ll have matzah

  • I am the fog

    lol Yeah, to me it’s kind of gross, but it’s also kind of hilarious and I kind of think you’re awesome because of it, so…

    I can’t say I know anything about you or why you are doing it, but my interpretation is that you are fighting the extreme of disgust at the biology of female bodies with the opposite extreme, and whether or not it seems kind of gross to me to make bread from thrush, I am absolutely in love with that idea that I see as being behind it.😀 I wish there were an evil grin smiley. You have my full support and admiration.😀

  • Gordy

    Ach! Each to their own. We’ve all tasted it raw before, so why all the horror of a wee smidgen, highly diluted? I applaud her inventiveness.

    Now, I’m away to scrape the debris from beneath my Herman Gelmet and have myself some Organzola on toast. Yummy!

  • beckythehippie

    I am anxious to know how this turned out! i don’t know why people are in such uproar… not like you’re switching out their baker’s yeast with your vaginal yeast. I probably will never try this at home but you’ve definitely piqued my interest

  • silverphoenixnz

    I’m both totally grossed out and insanely curious!!! I’m also amused that people are so outraged… it has literally nothing to do with them so why do they even care?!

  • Larry Michaels

    You’re sick. You’re trying to pass off a mental disorder as art. I feel sad for you. Seek help

  • S H Δ N Ξ C L Δ R ▼ (@shaneclary)

    This is Brilliant!! Best of luck to you! Maybe Kim Chi or Sauerkraut next?

  • asdf

    I really don’t like modern feminism at all but this isn’t so bad and everyone is crying over nothing. Maybe because of the “feminist” context (??) or some shit. It’s whatever. Fucking normies.

  • Larry Michaels

    You’ve just confirmed my belief that all feminists are ugly and have serious mental issues

  • Kira

    You show alarming signs of having a serious mental illness. Please go get checked out.

  • pinnylew

    For anyone who makes sourdough and other natural yeast products, this is not much more gross than regular sourdough that (as is well known) the yeasts that are on your hand, or your mouth (when tasting) contribute to the final product. Same is true with wine making where in the not too distant past bare feet were uses to crush the grapes with these feet contributing materially to the final wine.

    Another aspect that the writer alludes to, the yeast from her body whatever survives would within hours become overwhelmed by the majority yeast strain in the bowel and the final bread would taste no different than another other sourdough bread she would make in her kitchen..

  • Janice

    This “anything that criticizes/disagrees with something a feminist says is misogyny” stuff is getting very, very tiresome and is very counter-productive for the cause of women’s rights. Too many so-called feminists these days are self-absorbed attention addicts and all they do is collect narcissistic supply and hurt women.

    Also, feeding such food to another without their consent would be a form of sexual assault just as if a man put his “special sauce” into someone’s food would be.

  • Stacey

    Wow….this article is disturbing and just so wrong on many levels. Kindly do us all a huge favour, don’t reproduce…..EVER!

  • Stacey

    You are one seriously fucked up bitch!

  • laripu

    I agree that baking kills anything harmful. The bread is probably just as wholesome as any other sourdough bread. If I ate it unknowingly, and then you told me what it was, I’d probably just laugh.

    In the other hand, just because you can do something, that doesn’t mean you should. Oral sex is one thing, no problem. Food made with human constituents violates most peoples’ taboo against cannibalism. The vagina is just a red herring in this case, which makes it worse for the prim. It would be just as bad if it were your dandruff (and that would likely work too).

  • David Bowman

    It’s no worse than women who consume their own placenta after they give birth.

  • Axel

    Interesting!
    Good luck!

    Saw an article about a guy that brewed beer with yeast from his beard!

    Maybe you can try brewing beer too!

  • j

    I guess this means that these assholes harassing you never eat pussy either? Too bad, their loss. Good luck with your baking!

  • axe

    your food hygiene information is a bit off.

    it’s very wrong to think you can let unknown bacteria grow in something for a week but it’ll be safe to eat once you’ve cooked it. there’s no good reason to think that what lives in your vagina at 37°C wouldn’t be just as happy living at 22°C — it would just reproduce slower. heating something to 70°C reduces the bacterial load enough to make most food (i.e. food that didn’t deliberately have unknown bacteria introduced into it) safe for immediate consumption. but once the temperature drops back to normal, the bacteria will happily go on multiplying. you need internal temperatures of at least 130°C if you want to sterilise food, which should be fine in your case as baked bread should have an internal temperature of around 190°C. what this doesn’t address, however, is any toxins that the bacteria may have already produced, and consequently the fact that the bacteria will be killed when you cook the dough in no way guarantees that it will be safe to eat.

  • jayroccdk

    hmm, u still need a man replica to get the yeast out, independent woman my ass

    • stavvers

      Don’t be silly, dear. A dildo isn’t a man replica. It’s so much better. Does things your grass blade dick, dank stench and whiney tedious demeanour couldn’t even begin to comprehend.

  • Nina

    Claiming this is a feminist act is the pinnicale of white feminism. I have never felt so ashamed to call myself a feminist, but you and everyone who tries to justify this experiment made me do it.

    It IS disgusting because there’s a difference between bakers yeast and vaginal yeast. You are OUT of your mind for attacking people who disapprove of this. You are a vile woman and you need to reconsider your way of thinking.

    DON’T call yourself a feminist, if you go on hating men just for having on opinion on your blog, which is free to visit and everyone to comment on. You are NOT a feminist, and you should consider going to a professional, not just for this twisted “experiment”, but how for you react to people who dare to share an opinion different to yours.

    • stavvers

      I didn’t claim it was a feminist act.

      • Nina

        People are disgusted by your “experiment” because of their “general mistrust and horror at vag” is clearly a (very misguided) stab at the effects of patriarchy, which would be easily comprehensible when it comes to female sexual characteristics – here, though, it isn’t.

        People are disgusted because the thought of putting a fungal infection inside their mouth is repulsive. The whole “I don’t know why people are disgusted. It’s just fucking bread”-act – seriously, get off your high horse for a minute and stop the whole edgy thing. It’s extremely cringeworty.

  • John (man and proud of it)

    WTF is wrong with you! You are why society has a duty to lock up it’s mentally unstable citizens!

  • oopster74

    Got to say that my face is being pulled in all kinds of directions reading that, but you asked a “what if?” question and followed through. Is the fact that you said you had thrush at the time a problem or not? I think I’ve only had it once and it wasn’t a nice experience, I never thought to make bread lol. What I can highly recommend if you like baking (and I’m yet to try this yet), is a north east delicacy called “stottie cake” aka flatbread. It’s like a big bun and should be cut like you’d cut a pizza, then sliced inside. The best filling is diced ham and propper pease pudding (don’t use the tinned stuff it’s shite!). It smells horrible so don’t worry about that, it tastes amazing. I think its something along the lines of split peas. I tried making some a few weeks ago but couldn’t find anywhere that sold split peas.

  • Jim Philips

    I maintain a sourdough starter for my home baking. My knowledge of yeast is not extensive, but I don’t think this will work. Different strains of yeast evolve to digest specific things. I suspect that yeast accustomed to foods it finds in your moist parts will not find the same stuff it finds in a bowl of wet flour and will simply die off. It would help to have the input of a microbiologist on this point.

  • Ariel Jorge Rossi

    This bread looks tasty. Congrats!

  • Ana

    Omg.u are pretty crazy of the world.
    Shame.

  • Fenrox (@Fenrox)

    Heh, the comments are way grosser. Ive eaten movie popcorn, this is no where near that level of gross.

  • Tim Deagan

    Fascinating! I applaud your empiricism! Odd that the same day I read this I saw an Atlas Obscura article about how salt-rising bread uses bacteria instead of yeast, among which is Clostridium perfringens (think gangrene, botulism, tetanus.) Perhaps a kombucha with a SCOBY of Clostridium perfringens and Candida Albicans?

    Science for the wonderment and win!

  • A

    I am not disgusted, but curious. You explain the reasons why you are NOT doing this. But why are you actually doing it?

  • nice

    This is the funniest thing i have seen in my life. Props to you.

  • Miss Dennis Queen

    I love you stavvers. haven’t laughed so much in years!!

  • Franc Blak

    Sorry, stavvers, I don’t care how good you claim it is, I can’t help but be disgusted. How could you even…? The very thought of it makes me want to vomit.

    I mean, really? Pasta with ketchup and relish?

    …Anyway, I’d love to try some of that sourdough.

  • Jonathan Kent

    Given that you’d make a starter in the same way without without vaginal yeast it’s almost impossible to tell if the yeast that has started the fermentation is from you or from the flour. It’s more likely from the flour as yeasts that naturally grow on flour thrive more happily in that environment than yeast’s that grow in the vagina. But hey. Then again given that sourdough starters can co one for decades it might outlast you – a little piece of immortality with butter and jam…

  • sangfroid

    I don’t see anything wrong with this. I love performing cunnilingus on a woman and anyone else that has performed this amazing act on a woman has probably ‘eaten’ more yeast then she scraped out of her vagina. Stavvers, if you’ll send me a couple slices, I’ll toast it, spread coconut oil, peanut butter – crunchy, and jam on it and let everyone know how it tastes. Or, I’ll just eat it plain if that’s what all the negativity wants.

  • El Guapo

    I frankly can’t stop giggling over the experiment. Yes, it’s “out there,” and I certainly wouldn’t want to eat the bread; however, I like science and edgy people, so two thumbs up. May the folks who can’t handle it grow yeast twixt their nethers.

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