Dear Aiden Russell

Dear Aiden Russell,

You’re a bellend. A big, throbbing, cheesy bellend. You are a suppurating boil on the arse of humanity, a yellow stain on a white vest on a hot day, an eggy guff on a morning commute.

Also, you are a massive bigot. Yes, I said it. I can almost taste your tears from here, and it’s enough to make me want to gag, tasting as they do of wet dogs and anchovy-brine. You don’t like being called a bigot, do you Aiden? I’ve seen your picture of you whinging about being silenced. It must be hard for you, being dealt the cruel hand of being a massive fucking bigot and also not even having a semblance of a clue.

You see, Aiden, you are a bigot. It’s not silencing you to say that. You are free to go about your day, being a bigot. You can go about ineffectually seeking to deny dignity to queer folk all you like, desperately promoting some sort of right to refuse service to us as you and the handful of other bigots try to unionise to an almost-complete public indifference. You can run your sockpuppet account expressing your pride to be heterosexual: goodness knows, you have nothing else to be proud of. And you can try to blame the fact you’re a bigot on Muslims, because you’re probably a racist, too. Bigotry overlaps, you see, Aiden.

You’re more than welcome to do this, Aiden, because of free speech.

But guess what? We’re more than welcome to call you out on it, because of free speech. And you’re homophobic, Aiden. You’re very, very homophobic. You want to deny rights to people because of their sexual orientation. And you’re allowed to think that, but it makes you an enormous, pulsating ballbag.

And as time passes by, your views are becoming outmoded. More and more people are wising up to the fact that you and your ever-decreasing ilk are chatting shit. Hell, even a lot of bigots have evolved beyond your point, moving instead to more insipid ways of oppressing queer folk. You’d be almost quaint, Aiden, if you weren’t such a rampaging nipple.

For someone who has been silenced, Aiden, you are remarkably loud, and this is because you know you haven’t been. You are just, like others of your kind, terrified of accountability and so therefore casting yourself as a victim.

You wouldn’t know hate if it booted you in the head, straight man.

I do not doubt that you will consider the fact people think you’re a gnawing cockcanoe to be more evidence of silencing, but this betrays just how little you understand what free speech is. It isn’t just for you, you see, Aiden. It’s for us. And it’s what lets us speak out against you. Do you hate free speech, Aiden?

Yours, with contempt,

Stavvers

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9 responses to “Dear Aiden Russell

  • Thomas Thurman

    I love that he’s pictured standing underneath a sign saying “Grand Opening”. What a great grand rectal opening he is.

  • Heather

    So, I hadn’t heard of Aiden Russell until reading this (greatly written, as per usual) blog. My first thought was ‘who?’ My second thought was ‘bit harsh, maybe? What’s he said?’ And then I clicked on the first link, and agreed with your blog completely. Nice work. xx

  • Karen

    Jesus fucking Christ. What an utterly pointless waste of human DNA. He prattles on about straight pride? It’s people like this twatbag that sometimes make me feel ashamed to be straight. Arsehole.

  • Boostick

    Wow. He’s King of the Poes. I’m not sure which assertion I think is the most hilarious, the one that says “Straight people are on[c]e again a minority”, or the one that implies that he has such great gaydar that he can instantly tell who isn’t straight.

    As for marriages being held in mosques… Bless him. Just a typical sub-literate, antiquated, bigoted winnet who desperately fears change.

    Perhaps some local gay people* should have a “Gay in”. They could munch on his soft, plump buns for sustenance!

    *He doesn’t appear to have a problem with bisexuals (yes, I’m being sarcastic). It seems like it’s the ‘homo’ prefix that’s distressing him. I wonder if he’s scared of homeowners too? After all, the bible is very clear in its position on credit/debt.

  • Katelyn Jecmen

    See, the problem with bigots is that they feel like being called what they are is the way they are being silenced, they take the word “bigot” as being equivical to being called fat or stupid, as if you are calling them that to shut them up. The real issue here is a “if the shoe fits, wear it” I honestly do not know why it is so dang hard for them to admit that saying that they feel homosexual people don’t have equal rights is in fact a prejudiced and bigoted position to hold. They fail to look at the facts, prejudice is disliking or hating a particular trait of a human being, and bigotry is acting on that dilkie or hate. So like I said, if the shoe fits, wear it. Doesn’t mean you have to shut up, just aknowledge you are an a-hole and move on. Heck maybe they even have issue with being called a bigot because aknowledging that would also mean that they may have to admit they might be wrong in their views. But I say if you are treating another human being as less than worthy of anything in life YOU ARE WRONG and need to rethink your position, because no human being is better than another.

  • cabrogal

    I have no idea who Aiden Russell is and I don’t feel inclined to click the links to find out. But there are any number of Australian bigots I can fit this rant to perfectly – so in my mind I have.

    Love your stuff stavvers.

  • Katelyn Jecmen

    One other thing that I just love is how we LGBT persons have endured thousands of years of abuse, oppression, and persecution. And yet when we decide we had enough and started speaking out against that treatment we are called bullies because we wont just lay down and take the abuse…

  • trianglethief

    This is especially wonderful when read aloud in a soft, soothing voice, such as might be used when whispering tenderly into Aiden’s ear. From a distance. Using a long, sterilised tube.

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